JOHN 13:18-30 “IS IT I, LORD?”

18 “I am not referring to all of you; I know those I have chosen. But this is to fulfill the scripture: ‘He who shares my bread has lifted up his heel against me.’
19 “I am telling you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe that I am He. 20 I tell you the truth, whoever accepts anyone I send accepts me; and whoever accepts me accepts the one who sent me.”
21 After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “I tell you the truth, one of you is going to betray me.”
22 His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. 23 One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. 24 Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, “Ask him which one he means.”
25 Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?”
26 Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas Iscariot, son of Simon. 27 As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him.
“What you are about to do, do quickly,” Jesus told him, 28 but no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. 29 Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the Feast, or to give something to the poor. 30 As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.

Several times Jesus had talked about his coming departure in terms of his being “lifted up” and being “glorified.” These comments are interpreted as describing the manner (crucifixion) and the purpose (make salvation known) of his death. In this case, Jesus is predicting how he will be delivered to those who will torture and kill him. Here Jesus becomes “troubled in spirit” because he knows that one of the Twelve, one of his closest disciples will be the vehicle of Satan that puts all the events in motion that will lead to the cross and grave and the sin-burden that will separate him from the Father. As Jesus wept over Jerusalem (Matthew 23:37), Jesus is troubled by the betrayal.

It seems so obvious to us that Jesus is talking about Judas, yet the Disciples did not seem to understand. Could it be that they were too concerned about their own possible guilt that they could not see beyond themselves? As it turned out, they were all guilty in that every one of them denied (betrayed) Jesus and left him alone in his agony.

What about us? We are quick to point out the hard-headedness of the Disciples and the obvious guilt of Judas, but does that just mask our own daily denial? We have the advantage of living 2100 years after the resurrection and have the history of the world and the Church as evidence of the power of the Spirit of Christ in our lives. We also regularly receive the bread in our worship. Should we not daily ask, “Is it I, Lord?”

Lord, save me from my presumption of innocence when I read of your passion and death. You were broken hearted and died for my sins, too. May I repent and give thanks to you everyday in every aspect of my life. When I take the communion bread may I give thanks for your gift of eternal life and remember why I needed you to make that sacrifice for me. Amen.